End of June

As a whole, June has been a busy month for both myself and CREAR. I skyped my mother last night and she commented that I have been in Costa Rica for such a long time when really I have been debating on staying here longer and possibly returning to this area in the future.

Attendance is still small, at least in the CREAR location in Samara. (There are more kids at the El Torito location.) Having a host brother who is in elementary school gives me insight into what schooling is like here and also why attendance is low in Samara. For students school is tedious and repetitive; it lasts a couple of hours every weekday and is generally in the afternoon. There is not much of an opportunity for creativity or critical thinking and it appears that the students that have parents involved with their education are more likely to have higher grades. When there is a lot of rain, as in torrential downpour and lightning, kids do not come to CREAR and it is easy to see why; there are only two main asphalt roads and dirt roads leading to everyone's homes. One cannot expect an eight year-old to walk a couple of kilometers to CREAR in the pouring rain - it's unsafe and inconvenient. Unfortunately, despite this being "winter" and the dry season, it rains frequently. Another factor preventing higher attendance are test days and days when school is cancelled; on both occasions, students (note: elementary school-aged children) are expected to study, which equates to watching television or playing video games.

CREAR has a small staff and its two administrators are both Americans who have lived in Sámara for at least three years. People in the community are familiar with CREAR so there is no issue in advertisement. CREAR also participates in community events like the Caravana Tica last weekend and there are charlas (chats) in the local schools on various topics. Our library is very popular, mostly because it is the only library in the town and perhaps one of the few in the region. Different groups, like the Mareas school (a bilingual school for children), utilize the library and other resources of CREAR.

Overall, since discovering CREAR in January much has changed. The focus on academics and specific themes has been discarded in attempt to raise a more consistent group of children on a daily basis. It's almost funny that many people in the community are confused when CREAR operates or what it does; CREAR hosts U.S. volunteer groups to complete service projects in the area, so at times it can be difficult for some people to know CREAR's exact purpose when CREAR hosts volunteers who renovate a clinic. I do not know how pervasive of a problem this is, but it is something that an administrator told us one day.

CREAR has a two week camp in the first two weeks of July and the focus will be on health. There is a lacrosse team from the U.S. that will be helping out for a week so we will definitely have extra people to help the event. Camps are popular CREAR events so I am excited for it!

Cup half full

I am half way into my service learning experience. I feel like I have learned so much in these four weeks. In the morning I start off in Orthopedics at 7am. There is a seminar for the residents and then there is a morning report of all the patients.  I have learned about the research that the residents are conducting and other topics such as the equinus condition. After that I usually help the first year residents with their duties. The residents have showed me a lot about fractures, wounds and how to apply different types of casts, depending on the wounds. I always have on a white coat and use gloves when handling patients.

            In the afternoon I volunteer in Pediatrics. I usually spend some time with the burned patients and then go into the Aula (schoolroom) with the other patients. The burned patients are the ones who usually stay the longest, so I get to know them and their families pretty well. There have been a couple of patients that burned their hands, and after they are instructed to start moving their fingers I bring them clean Lego blocks. Since it is a toy they are distracted and don’t realize they are moving their hand. The patients are usually scared to move their hand(s) at first. One day El Camino church group came and passed out hot wheels, which also helped encourage one of the patients to use his fingers. The group El Camino were extremely nice and they gave coloring books and crayons to the children. We also went down to Pediatrics in the ER. They left me bags of toiletries for the patients that I saw most in need. I passed them out to patients in Pediatrics and also in maternity. 

           

In the schoolroom we usually play with two sets of blocks and four puzzles. The children that stay in the hospital for long periods end up making the puzzles many times. This upcoming week I will be bringing in the toys that were bought for Pediatrics. The Professor is really good at coming up with ways to work on problem areas with the children. For example, sometimes we will read them a story and they have to write it out correctly, or we will do math problems with pictures. The professor sees in what area the children need help and she also assigns them homework if they are going to be in the hospital longer.

Last Saturday I got to attend an event for Orthopedics. There was a recognition ceremony for the founder of the school of Orthopedics and Traumatology in León.  His name is Dr. Jaime Granera Soto, and there was a plate and painting put up in the Orthopedics department for him. In the event they talked about his journey to becoming a doctor, and also a priest. I was greatly honored to attend and meet Dr. Granera. After the ceremony there was reception, and I witnessed my first tremble in the earth. It was not an earthquake, but I did feel the movement. I was not scared; I always imagined that it would be much worse like in the movies. I moved to the center patio, and then it was over. But due to this there was safety precautions taken and some patients were given permission to go home but they would have to come back on Monday. All in all, everything was fine.

 I like volunteering in Pediatrics and Orthopedics because sometimes there are Pediatric patients that are also Orthopedic patients. I am allowed to go into their surgical procedures, and I have noticed that this helps calm their nerves. During their treatment I see that they are calmer and don’t cry as much when they see a familiar face that they are more or less comfortable with. I am excited for this second half of the experience, and I am also grateful to be where I am. 

¡Pura Vida! [J]

This blog was written on June 18th, my first night in Potrero.

Today I arrived in Potrero, Costa Rica. A small town directly on the northwest coast of the country. At first glance, I am surrounded by fruit bearing trees, the streets are not paved and are riddled with potholes. Most people walk from place to place with worn clothes, and, most importantly, seem contempt and friendly.

The front door of the AM office.
All staff members take this photo.

The nearest airport, in Liberia, is about an hour drive away. I spoke with the driver almost the whole way to Potrero. His name is also Jose. He told me about the seasons, the food, the easily bribed local police, and much more. I asked him about the government and of poverty. He mentioned government corruption and vast poverty. I responded that it seems the entire world is fighting a similar battle.

My homestay family is very nice and cheerful. The mother, Fanni, is welcoming and appears to have a strong personality. Her daughter Alexa, as a student of Abriendo Mentes, is eager to have me as a sort of personal tutor. The father, Abelino, did not hesitate to observe his new guest and soon asked the common questions of how I came about working with Abriendo Mentes.

Tomorrow I will meet more AM volunteers, and will soon begin my work. Now, I am going to watch Costa Rica take on their Panamanian rivals in a futbol game with my host family. Pura Vida!

Three weeks in India and I'm still loving it!

As I reflect on my weeks here, it feels like I arrived in India yesterday; then again it feels like I've been here forever. I have learned so much and each day is truly an adventure. I started teaching upper preschoolers. They are so adorable. They also do not know any English so body language and facial expressions are everything. Even so we have interesting conversations. The children tell me about their homes and their families. They tell me their mother names and father names and sister names and brother names. When I pronounce them wrong they just laugh and correct me. The children here are truly happy. We laugh and sing songs. Their favorite is "Row Row Row your Boat"! We sing it everyday and it never gets old to them. I teach them body parts in English and they translate in Tamil. At the orphanage, I teach English after school in one of the classrooms. Every Tuesday and Thursday, the children living at the orphanage run up to me and say "spoken-english today". I happily say yes and at 5pm they are all waiting for me in the classroom. I am truly glad that I am here and the children seem fond of the volunteers. I love playing games with them and the time just seems to fly by.

What if every day had exquisite purpose?

I feel I should write a second blog discussing more logistical related things, like what exactly I've been doing since I've been here- especially since I haven't written in a while.

When I first got here, I told myself I would write every day because I wanted to be able to recall everything from this summer. However, this past month has been absolutely crazy and I have not had the time or energy to journal, much less, blog. The opportunities that arose for me this past month have been enormous- so much so, that at the end of every day I'm absolutely exhausted. I've gotten into quite the routine, and I love it.  I wake up around 7am in the morning because the roosters don't let me sleep much later than that...breakfast is served at 8 every morning, so between that time, I get to spend some quiet time alone or I go and see the kids. We have about 25 handicapped kids here at New Life who need much attention throughout the day, so I usually start by spending quality time with some of them. We either read together, play games, draw, sing, or even just sit together. We have teams who are always coming in and out of New Life. They stay here and do work around New Life, but typically go out during the day visiting different orphanages or doing service projects. The past three weeks, we have had anywhere between 70 and 90 people staying here, so there has  always been something to do, something to sort or organize, or questions to be answered. I've also gotten the chance to shadow the adoption counselor they have who facilitates most of the adoptions that are in process right now. So far, I've taken kids to get blood work done and taken some to the US Embassy for the biological mother to verbally relinquish rights. It's been quite a learning and humbling experience- especially on the day we took a set of siblings who are being adopted, with their biological mother they hadn't seen in almost a year, to the Embassy for her to relinquish her rights over.

This may sound like a silly thing to say, but I don't think I've ever cried with children like I did the day we got back from the Embassy. In fact, I don't think I've ever cried with children at all. All five of us, our driver, the mother, the two children and I rode together to the Embassy, but on the way back we had to drop off the mother. I don't think the kids were expecting this, and when she left somewhat abruptly, the younger sibling sat in my lap and wept. Her older brother sat across from me in the car and remained stoic, fighting back the tears. I told him to come sit next to me, and he tentatively did so. As his sister cried and cried, I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You know, it's okay to be sad. You don't have to be so strong all the time." He nodded and then managed to lean over in his seat and hid his face as he began to let out the deep sadness of feeling unwanted, unloved. I hid my face as I cried, as well. When we got back to property and sat outside on a patio, I explained to them that this is very hard, but God is using this experience to give them a better life- a family who can provide for them better than their own mother can. We all sat and continued to cry together. A beautiful sleep came over them as their bodies and souls were fatigued from such an emotionally exhausting day. As I laid there with them, I began to reflect on what it feels like to be abandoned. We all have experienced abandonment to some extent, sure, but not like this. I had no words other than my understanding. I had nothing to offer them but my open arms and comfort, but somehow I know God was pleased with that. Words can't even describe the amount of respect I have for these children. I admire them more than any other human I've ever encountered before.

On this day I felt so many emotions, I can't even put it into words. Being moved to tears over the mourning of children without a mother humbled me beyond belief. I know these kids, I've been here before, but by actually being here, I am in a beautiful position to offer hope and love when it is needed most. What if every day had purpose as exquisite as this?

I know it's been a while...

I have been wrestling with this blog for what feels like forever. What's even better is I started this blog weeks ago, thought I saved my work, but apparently didn't. It was at least five paragraphs of thoughts all disorganized on a page, and now I'm hoping that while I'm writing this I'll be able to recall what is important.

At this very moment, my heart feels overwhelmed with passion for the orphaned. I'm reading a book entitled Kisses from Katie- if you haven't read it, I dare you to. It'll challenge your soul in the most beautiful of ways, as it is mine right now. What I'm learning will be reflected in these thoughts I'm having, and I'm hoping to articulate them well.

Often I struggle because I'm a problem solver. I can walk into a situation and immediately sniff out where things could be improved upon, and often times this gets me into a bit of trouble with myself. When I come to Haiti, my body aches with all the depravity present. What troubles me most is that I can't do much about it. I've come to the conclusion that Haiti needs to help Haiti before any outside aid or foreigner can make any substantial difference here. However, what I can do is love. I can love one individual at a time and hope that my love represents Christ's love in some way or fashion, and hope that someone's life will be better off after we encounter. Love relentlessly. It's written on my foot, but sometimes I haven't the slightest idea of what it means. I'm still learning and growing in accepting a love that is relentless, and thus being able to love more relentlessly. For about two weeks I was taunted by the lie that I am nothing of significance- something I feel far too often. I entertained that thought and allowed it to get the best of me, and I was struggling for at least two weeks with the feeling of worthlessness. I had a stream of nightmares for about four days within first coming to Haiti. Now I feel more free, though the thoughts still linger from time to time. I am at times so full of hope; so much joy that I can hardly keep it inside, and I must remain strong in my armor against thoughts that would deter me from why I'm here this summer.

When I first decided that I was going to Haiti for the summer, I chose the longest amount of time possible- three months, otherwise I'd have to apply for a visa. I thought to myself, "what a bold move, what a servant." Being here for just a month and a half, I'm recognizing that I'm not even scratching the surface with what my heart desires to learn and attain. However, I'm learning to alter what it is my heart desires. I naturally want things to be fixed, harmonious, but Haiti will not ever be that. The world will not ever be that until Christ returns, and until then, I am called to love. Three months may seem like a long time, but it, in fact, is nothing. I have been brought to my knees in humility and desire to be here longer.

Words that have been haunting me since my second day here at New Life came from a man I barely knew, but he seemed to know me better than anyone ever has within just five minutes of meeting me. He picked up on the fact that I fear to lead. He noticed that I carry a humor that I'm afraid to share- only when I'm immensely comfortable. He asked me what I want to do with my life, and when I told him I wanted to pursue a Master's degree in Marriage & Family Therapy to potentially become an Adoption Counselor, he told me he feels I'm selling myself short and to pray more about how God would use me. "Don't squander your gifts", he said. Every day of the week here at New Life, the staff and interns meet at 4pm to worship, pray, learn Kreyol, and talk about our days together. Yesterday I shared how much I truly fear and worry, though only my closest friends know how deep my fears usually go. Every day I wake up and fear that I did something or will do something to make someone mad- so mad that they will leave me behind because of irreconcilable differences. Why do I fear this so deeply? It's something I'm still figuring out, even though I have a few ideas about where it comes from. Regardless of the validity, I know for a fact that I squander my gifts, and it is in no way allowed to be an excuse for not living out the love as unconditionally as I can.

 I watched a man I was very close with growing up destroy an organization and much more because his leadership position had been taken out of hand. I watched him deny himself the true beauty of God because he became so obsessed with his own vision. He lost touch with God. He walked a dark, scary road that I fear so deeply to walk upon. This man had the natural ability to lead like no other human I've ever met, and I admired him immensely. However, the intense cry of our flesh is so tempting, and he fell so hard that he couldn't get back up. He stayed in that place for a very long time and it cost him damn near everything. When I was about 12, I started picking up on characteristics of mine that were almost identical to this man's. And when I started observing how his actions were affecting others in such an awful way, I tried everything in my power to be anything but him- still to this day. I fear that if I take on leadership roles, like I know I can and was designed to do, I'll screw up as badly as he did because I know the cry of my own flesh. I know man's desire to be in power. I know my desire to knock others down to become stronger, better, wiser- so opposite of Christ. I can feel those desires flowing through my veins as I watch these words flow onto this computer screen. I fear my own flesh.

I have this deep and undeniable passion for the poorest of the poor. It is so strong that it moves me to tears almost immediately when I think about it. Sometimes when we drive through the streets of Haiti, I am so overcome with feelings that I don't always know how to process or compartmentalize them. I desire to take care of people- that's it. When people ask me what I want to do with my life, I get a lump in my throat because I have no idea what I'm going to say. Recently, I've been repeating this Marriage & Family Therapy thing in hopes to become and Adoption Counselor- but when I say it out loud, sometimes my heart doesn't feel complete. When I'm talking to someone who is hurt, giving advice to someone who's confiding in me, or holding a child in need of affection, words don't describe the adrenaline that flows through my veins. If I could have my way, I'd be in Haiti for however long God would want me. When I entertain this idea, I can feel the enemy telling me, "All you know how to do is love. You're worthless." And sometimes I believe it. I have vivid memories from kindergarten of feeling such joy from helping people solve problems and comforting them. You wouldn't believe it, but some kids in my kindergarten class actually came to me with problems. Problems of a kindergartner, but regardless, it's always been an attribute of mine to want to help and care for those in need. That quality has grown with me as I've gotten older, and as a 21 year old adult, I wonder what that looks like for me as I prepare to graduate. All I want to do is move here after I graduate. In fact, though I only have one semester left until I graduate, I think about what it would look like for me to stay here and not go back to school. I think about it almost daily.

Something I caught myself doing a couple weeks ago when we went to different orphanages in Port au Prince is almost shameful for me to write down for others, anyone who reads my blog to see. I caught myself not wanting to look at the children directly in their eyes for fear of feeling overcome with conviction to save them, because I know I can't save them all, at least not right now. God is in control of saving the world, and while I recklessly struggle with trusting that, I will choose to love all whom I encounter. The love of Christ should reek off my body through my words and my actions. My relationship with Him should become so dear that I am deeply aware of His presence. As I become closer to Him, all of the fears I feel daily will subside because all I need is Him. A friend here has taught me, and we are learning together, that the things of this world do not matter, they will not last. The less I have, the more we have to depend on God. I find myself envious of the poor I've encountered because they have a relentless love and dependency on God that I so deeply desire. As I let go of the things and fears of this world, I'll get one step closer to what it means to live out His call for my life.

My Father’s Day in Ghana

June 16, 2013

Growing up in Colombia and the United States, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have always been a time to reunite the family and celebrate. Coming into Ghana, I was expecting to experience the same thing. Although my host family does not have a father figure, I thought maybe the neighbors or even the Church would have a special service for them. However, this was not the case.

In the morning, I went to the beach with my neighbor, Rose Mercy (17). Her two younger sisters, Evelyn (15) and Hannah (11) joined us after Church ended. I inquired about the Church service and whether there was a big celebration for Father’s Day. Rose Mercy told me that Father’s Day was not very big in Ghana because it Ghanaian men were not very respected. I was taken by surprise at this response and asked why not.

She said, “In Ghana, it is the women who take care of the children, who cook and do everything for the family. So, Mother’s Day is a large celebration, but Father’s Day is not. The Church will mention something about Father’s Day, but they won’t hold a special service or celebration for them. On Mother’s Day, there are large parties and the children will give gifts to the mothers, but not for Father’s Day.”

They asked me about Father’s Day in the U.S. and I told them it depended on the family on how they celebrated Father’s Day, but that it was a big deal for most people who did have a father in their life.

Later that day, I saw my neighbor, Uncle Ato, who is a father. I said, “Happy Father’s Day Uncle.”

He said, “Thank you, specially coming from a woman. Thank you!”

That night, I spoke to Mama Teiko. “Mama, I heard Father’s Day is not very big here.”

She said, “Oh no! You see, Ghanaian men are rascals!”

I said, “What!? What do you mean?”

She said, “You see, Ghanaian men go around get women pregnant, and then you will never see them again! So, they are not respected very much. That’s why, if a boy comes asking me to marry you I will say ‘no’.”

We both laughed. Ali, a good family friend came in and I filled him in the conversation. My Mama then said, “But Ali is a good man. You can marry him.”

We all laughed.

I spoke to some of my co-workers who had spent Father’s Day in Cape Coast. They told me they had a different experience. There, everyone was saying “Happy Father’s Day” to everyone, even if they were not a Father or a man.

Overall, I’m not sure how Ghanaians really feel about Father’s Day, but I thought I’d share my experience.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!