Wading in the Water

This first week in Haiti was one of the most challenging but also insightful weeks of my life. I arrived at Haiti Communitere and was shown around and introduced to most of the people that work there, but also got to meet some individuals that have been staying at Haiti Communitere for a while. The organization serves as a resource hub/center for many groups and individuals that have specific projects that they're working on that are specific to furthering the development of Haiti in different ways. Haiti Communitee provides the space for them to work, and gives them a safe place to stay while in Port au Prince. On my first day, I met a woman named Dara who has been staying at Haiti Communitere for a couple months and she has worked with a couple other people in designing a 3D printer. I had no idea what that meant, but when I asked her, she described that you can digitally design and object or tool on the computer and it will then literally "print" out the object. It was mind blowing to me, and I immediately felt incredibly insignificant with the level of intelligence she obviously has. There was also Dr. Meghan Coffee who started a Tuberculosis clinic in Port au Prince three years ago. I got the chance to visit her clinic and volunteer for an entire day. We were there from 9am to about 7pm, so it was a very long day, and there was never a time where I wasn't moving around or doing something. There are about 55 in patients that Meghan tends to all day, but around 500 out patients, as well. About 90% of the patients are also HIV positive, so the conditions were pretty rough. My duties were to walk the patients around and feed them which was quite a task because there was so much need. I met these two girls that were so incredibly precious. My Kreyol is pretty good for communicating with kids, so they were talking to me and teaching me different words in Kreyol. One of the girls ripped my heart in half in the most beautiful way. Her name is Mischneido, she's 11 years old and has TB and is HIV positive. On top of being so sick, she also doesn't have a family. She told me when we were sitting on her bed together that her parents both died, and she asked if she could come with me when I flew back to America.

I feel so incredibly guilty because over the course of a week staying at HC, I decided that it wasn't the place where I was going to accomplish the most out of my internship. While I got to engage in some life changing experiences, I could feel my heart strings being called back to New Life Children's Home, where I have previously stayed and fallen in love. I visited over the weekend and stayed with my friend Kylie who was in Haiti at New Life with a team of people from FSU. While I was there, I felt so strongly that this was where I needed to be. I talked to Miriam, who started the orphanage, and told her my aspirations for my internship and what I intend to pursue as a career. I told her that I plan on attending grad school for a degree in Marriage & Family Therapy and aspire to be an adoption counselor. She told me that they have an adoption counselor they just hired, and she suggested that I shadow her for the summer as well as do the blogging for New Life. I also have the opportunity to teach one of the girls of the orphanage English one on one, which I would be so honored to do. I know that this is where I will learn the most that is applicable to what I want to do with my life, but I still feel like I made a mistake, like I failed. I'm the kind of person that never quits or gives in, regardless of the circumstances. I appreciated everything that I experienced at HC, and I'm truly excited to be working and living at New Life now, but I feel like I'm leaving Mischneido behind at the TB clinic. I had such an incredible bond with her when I was with her the day I went to the clinic, and now I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I have a tremendous amount of care and passion for kids and the ways in which they're cared for. I take it very seriously, and there have been a handful of times where I've met kids in Haiti that I'll never forget, but then I'm overcome with the reality that I'm not in a position to save them at this time.  

Regardless of all of these feelings, I know I'm where I need to be and I'm so excited to learn and grow this summer. I'm excited to get started! The staff here are extremely supportive and really willing to come along side me and work with me this summer to help me learn & grow. I have so much to learn from all of them, and I can't wait! Though it has been a pretty wild week, I'm looking forward to this upcoming week and developing a sense of normalcy and routine. Though it has only been a week, I feel already that I've grown immensely and learned so much about myself. I'm so grateful for that and am so excited for the upcoming weeks.