Challenges in Uganda

I don't feel like I can give a fair representation of my experience in Uganda. It seems unreal. I'll try though and I can honestly say it has been the most challenging experiences in ways that I did not expect. The experience that shaped and affected me the most was my time in Mityana at the first organization I was in. We realized that there was no work for us to do and the internships we were hired for were non-existent. The organization was inactive. It was a huge disappointment because for the last five months I was very excited to do the work that was advertised. Ashley, Tyler, and I decided we needed to figure out our own plan if we wanted to make our time worthwhile. To be honest, I was frustrated and upset. Luckily, I had Ashley with me who looked at it as a challenge to overcome rather than a defeat while I was thinking if it was possible to change my flight and just go home. We began teaching at a very poor orphanage and I really enjoyed working with the kids. Many of the children were HIV positive and the orphanage was in a terrible condition.  It was a whole new level of poverty and honestly it made me uncomfortable.

We began to get in a routine and became really good friends with other volunteers named Ema (Emanuel), Joyce, and Dennis. Ema and Joyce was a couple from other east African countries (Tanzania and Kenya) while Dennis was from northern Uganda. We spent everyday with them and they became like family. I can honestly say they were the best part of working with Childline and probably the kindest people I ever met. Ema and Dennis were Omprakash volunteers and were the glue that held the organization together while it did. They didn't have much but would always feed the children out of there own pocket. I really admire them and wish I were as selfless.

The children we worked with were also wonderful. Along with working with the orphanage we also did a program with Ema. It was with many of the HIV positive kids. Those days were my favorite days. Two children's that stand out of my mind are Joan (aka little Miss Uganda) and Margret. Margret reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger because of her mannerisms and shyness. Joan was the opposite. The most dramatic nine year old I ever met and my very strict Lugandan teacher. After the program the kids would come over to where we were staying and Joyce would cook for them so they didn't go home hungry.

However, after the first couple of weeks we slowly put together pieces that our director was stealing from us and using the money for personal use. Through the process there were heated arguments and a lot of confusion.  The conflict reached a head when the director saw a piece of paper we left on the table with the financial amount that was unaccounted for. His eyes got real big and immediately left. We doubted we would see him again. Ashley, Tyler, and I talked to the other members and expressed our concerns to Childline “board members” who just appeared. We never knew they existed and were skeptical of their true intentions. We stated that the only way we would stay is if the money was accounted for and John was not the director. The next evening John was carried into the house we were staying at and the gate that was surrounding us was locked according to our friend so he wouldn’t escape. We didn't know that at the time. There was a three-hour discussion of him making excuses and then he left-we never saw him again. He was obviously fired and a new director was left in his place. After we left we figured out more and more how he received donations and never used them for the kids they were meant for.

 Other than the obvious issue let me explain why this issue really disturbed me. The money disappeared. There has been HIV positive orphans that Childline has custody of who have been ignored financially. The director (Father Musaka) at the orphanage doesn’t have money to buy food for them so they have been all complaining of hunger. They take ARVs daily since they are HIV positive. If they don't have food it tears up their stomach so they wont take their medicine. One day, when we were at the orphanage and we saw a Fiona. She is one of Childline's children and she looked extremely ill and fragile. The director didn't have funding and couldn't send her to the hospital. Luckily, it got worked out and she received treatment. The kids were relying on a man who doesn't care about them and stealing from the most vulnerable-the ones that need help the most.

The new director Steven informed us that a police report was filed for john and if we would be interested to testify in court. We rejected that proposal because the last thing I wanted to do was become involved in Ugandan law especially hearing stories of the injustice from our lawyer roommate. He also informed us that there was about 2300 Ugandan shillings in the Childline bank account. This is equivalent to less than a dollar- about 85 cents. It was supposed to last us the rest of our stay. We were shocked and explored options. Everyone was frustrated. There were a lot of complications about making a decision about what to do considering financial and ethical reasons. These were some of the thoughts:

1. We didn’t feel right working and representing Childline if we didn't trust the board because we were certain that other members were associated with John, which ended up being correct.

2.Our program was unsustainable since we would be making it up and it would occur for only the time we were here.

3. Our finances were dry and we had no resources to buy supplies.

4. The people we met became like family and we went through a lot together. It made me feel like I was disappointing them if I left and I hated the thought of leaving them.

5. I was embarrassed because many people helped me fundraise. I didn't want them to think their money went to waste even though that portion wasn't stolen.

6.We became really attached to many of the kids and I felt like I was another person letting them down.

We made the conclusion that we weren't sure that we could be effective while we were here and made the very difficult decision to leave to go to another organization in Uganda.  We left four days after and it was full of tears from everybody. I broke down many many times and felt very guilty. I wasn’t sure I was making the right decision at all and a part of me felt like I was giving up. We were leaving behind our friends who still had to deal with this mess and the children who suffered from the consequences of greed.  I realized how privileged I was.  Why was it fair that I had the opportunity to leave a bad situation and go to an easier safer place? This was an experience for me for a few months and not my life. For the people in Mityana, it's their life. Lack of finances doesn’t allow those opportunities. I also felt like I was exposed to so much poverty and unfairness and could do nothing about it. I promised myself that when I return to the US I’d try to do something. I don't want to feel like I witnessed, gave up, did nothing, and settled.

After we left and visited our friends in a few weeks later in Mityana I realized it wouldn’t be possible to have stayed with Childline. We attended the place the HIV program was located and waited till it was over so we could say hello to the kids. The program ended and we began walking the kids to the orphanage. When we were a quarter mile away from the Childline office and a board member ran after us yelling. He accused us of taking the kids. He grabbed them away from us and said he would call the police. We were then told that they told the kids that we were bad people and going to jail. Luckily, the kids came to visit after so it wasn't as an abrupt goodbye. However, that week another member of Childline was put in prison for mishandling funds and we realized we made the right decision to go.

Although, there were some very negative aspects about the time I spent in Mityana, I wouldn't change the experience. However, I would never want to go through anything like that again. I feel like I got a true feeling what poverty and injustice is really like-not some sugarcoated- feel good experience. I was in many uncomfortable situations and I know I am a stronger person because of it. Most importantly, I feel like I met people who really need help and no support is there. Hopefully, I can end up being some sort of support now that I know people I can trust with money in Mityana and who will give it to the children that need it. More posts to come that contain much less drama but more positivity. I feel like they would be insincere unless I addressed these feelings about my experience first.