Cathing Up

Hello Global Scholars and readers!

During my stay in Uganda, our internet connection as well as connection to the Western world was a bit hard to find, so I apologize for not blogging.

But, I did keep a journal so here, finally, is an update of my entire trip! I apologize for probably taking up pages of this blog, but I hope you enjoy. It was a crazy adventure, the say the least :)





                                                        Monday, May 6, 2013


                                                               Here it goes.

WANDER PASSIONATELY.

There are thoughts upon thoughts running through my head, yet they have not presented themselves to be concrete enough to understand.

Years ago, I would never have imagined that in a few short hours I would be flying to Uganda. I would have never fathomed this moment. This thought. This reality.

At the beginning of high school, I first watched the documentary Invisible Children [www.invisiblechildren.com] while I was participating in the 30 Hour Famine at my church. I had never heard of Uganda before, had no idea what child soldiers were, and had no idea how this knowledge had any relevance to my life. In the next few years, I grew more and more curious about this country, and became very involved in the Invisible Children movement. From hosting screenings at my high school, going to rallies, volunteering for the organization, and getting a paper plate award in yearbook for Most Likely to Live in Uganda (I swear it really happened)--this organization and country became a part of my identity.

When I went to college, I tried to get involved in the Invisible Children group on campus, but of course over-committed myself and things didn't quite work out. But, this identity still resonated with me. Every time I thought of how I got involved in service, where I first started to think about things outside of myself, where I began to grow a passion for the world and a passion for people, and all around when I understood what this world has to offer and the ability we have to change it, I always think of Invisible Children.

Granted, Invisible Children only captures a very very small part of what Uganda offers and the vast experiences of the Ugandan people. But, I think my story shows the beauty and experience the world presents you when you have passion and you use it. Your passion can take you to the ends of the earth when it becomes a part of you. From seeing a documentary in high school about Uganda, to embarking on a two month journey of living in the country, my passion is exactly what got me here.

With that, I have no idea where this trip is going to take me. I could be building it up and not grow in the ways I expect. Or, I could experience something far beyond my imagination.

There are a lot of unknowns before I leave, and I'm absolutely okay with that. Because the unknown is exactly what got me here. As long as I have passion in my heart, adventure in my step, and curiosity in my mind, I know I will end up where I am supposed to be and live the experience I am meant to live. I must continue to wander passionately.

μή μου ἅπτου.

Another theme that has presented itself in my life, in way too many ways, is the idea of not letting anything hold me back from my dreams and where I want the world to take me. Whether that means people, thoughts, actions, standards, what have you, it is a value of mine to engage with the world and with others without any reservations.

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the Greek phrase "μή μου ἅπτου" or roughly translated "cease holding on to me." This phrase comes from the verse John 20:17 when Jesus is telling Mary to let him go as he has not ascended into the heavens to be with God yet. There are many interpretations to this phrase and to this verse, but my personal understanding has developed from this notion of not holding back. We are all confined and restricted by so many things, that we often miss the opportunity for something great if we don't let ourselves ascend.

On this trip, I hope to keep this idea with me continuously. I have been given an opportunity far beyond anything I ever could have imagined. Whether it is in my actions, interactions, thoughts, ideas, and any other thing that many be presented to me, I hope to embrace this understanding and not be held, hindered, or detained, as I have some purpose to fulfill.

WHERE I AM, WE ARE. 

Finally, although I am going to be over twenty hours away and eight hours ahead of time, I would not have gotten to this moment without the support and experience provided by the beautiful people I am lucky to have in my life. From the life lessons given by late night talks with friends, to the continuous support given by my family every time I develop a new crazy dream, I cannot express enough thanks and gratitude to what others have done to get me here. Amongst the skepticism and hesitation of this trip, I have never felt more supported. I am bringing you all with me and bringing all of my experiences with me, as they are a part of me. So wherever I am, whether that is in Uganda or wherever my next adventure might bring me, there are so many other things and people with me as well.


With that, I am about to embark on an adventure I have always wanted to go on. Let's see where it ends of taking me!


                                                     Thursday, May 16, 2013
                                                           Taking Initiative.


So it has been a very full first week to say the least. And we had to experience a lot of unexpected things, to put it as objectively as possible. When we first arrived, we spent a few days settling in and getting used to our environment. We are housed in Mityana, a small town about one and a half hours outside the capital of Kampala. We are in a very welcoming compound and live right next to another volunteer, Emmanuel, and his wife, Joyce, who are basically the ones taking care of us. Joyce has been cooking all of our meals and we have been ridiculously spoiled. And Emmanuel has been nothing but kind and welcoming, and has pretty much been our light within the darkness of this very intense week (which I will later explain). We have also become friends with another volunteer who lives in town, Dennis, who runs the soccer program for Childline.
So, after we got settled in, we began orientation with the program. It was like any other orientation—quite overwhelming. We went over very basic and objective program goals, kind of what we would be doing, and that’s really it. We were all a bit confused and overwhelmed, but were pushing through and figured we would just need to see the work firsthand to really understand it.

The first programs we saw were on Saturday and Sunday, and they were amazing. Saturday is a program called Today for Tomorrow and it is an educational outreach project for children who are HIV positive and is run by Emmanuel. The program includes a basic “life skills” lesson, whether it’s about what is needed to be successful, how to have a balanced diet, hygiene lessons, HIV education, sanitation, identity building, and more. For this first session, we all just observed and interacted with the kids so we could get into the swing of how things work. It was a really awesome day and we were able to start the initial connection with the students we will be working with. On Sunday, we observed the YouthAction program run by Dennis, which is a soccer program for the local youth. On Saturdays the teams do basic training, have lessons on teamwork, learn about the different positions, and build connections within their group. Sundays are when the teams play in tournaments or regular games, so we just went to the field with the team and watched. This program has only been in place for about six months and we were extremely impressed with the turnout and interest by all the kids. There were tons of people on the team as well as tons of people who came out to watch. Dennis is also an awesome coach and has a huge heart for the program, so it was great to watch him interact with his team.

So, the weekend was awesome, but once the week started is when things started to get a bit complicated. As I mentioned before, when we went through our orientation, our jobs were a bit unclear but we were being patient in seeing what we would be doing. When Monday came around and our official work was supposed to begin, a lot of really unfortunate things began to unfold. In a nicer summary than what actually happened and has been happening throughout the week, we were basically taken from place to place, didn’t have any idea what was going on, were thrown into giving lessons we had no idea about, and some more pretty awful things. I don’t want to slander anyone and create a story that I shouldn’t be telling so I’m being a bit vague, but after we all experienced these really rough days we approached the program director to inquire what was going on. Come to find out, nothing was planned for our arrival, no programs were in place, and what we were doing every day was basically being made up the night before.

Initially when we all figured this out we were furious, angry, confused, overwhelmed, and about fifty other emotions. The way I took it, aside from the frustration, is that these programs were being created just because we were here. Meaning, they didn’t exist before our arrival. So, what was our purpose here? Why did we fly thousands of miles to work with programs that aren’t in place? Are we going to do anything that is really going to help the vast need that is present within this country? Does this agency really do anything?
After semi- cooling down, we contacted our placement agency to talk about what was going on as well as reached out to Emmanuel and Dennis to see what we could do. After tons of meetings, emails, thoughts of leaving, looking into moving agencies, and many more heavy areas of reflection, we have all decided to stay and instead of relying on the agency to place us within “programs,” we are going to create a program ourselves. We’ve concluded, hopefully, that this program will consist of us going into different agencies (specifically a different orphanage and school) each week and prepare a basic curriculum that supplements the current educational activities they are given. It is still in the very first stages of development, but I think it is really promising. We visited two orphanages and they told us they wanted us to be there for a week and were excited to have us, so we decided to follow through with this since our agency didn’t. Right now, it’s all about having to take a very large initiative we did not expect and work within the not so good circumstances we were given. We will still technically be working within the original agency, but kind of saying thanks for nothing and creating our own experience.

Although it kind of sounds like we have this grand solution, it has been an extremely heavy process for all of us to sort through. Since the program we’re going to make wasn’t in place before, will it be in place when we leave? Are we meeting a need or just filling time? How beneficial will this really be to the orphanages and schools? What is really our purpose if our original purpose was unfortunately mishandled? Have we just yet to find it?

I honestly don’t know the answer to any of these questions, and am still processing a lot on top of all of these administrative stresses. We have seen a lot. A lot of really heavy things. And I have no idea if I have even processed them. The conditions of the orphanages seemed straight out of a movie. The prevalence of HIV/AIDS is exactly, if not more, than all the stereotypes. We met two little girls, both three years old, who were raped because it is this long held myth that if you have HIV/AIDS and rape a virgin, you will be cured. We have seen malnourished children. We have seen people with severe disabilities also facing the detriments of poverty. We have seen the true forms of disease, hunger, and a lack of education. Yet, with all that has been going on, I feel like my heart has somehow become numb to it. And I don’t even know what that means. Or what it will mean.

But, aside from all of this “negativity,” we have met some amazing people and amazing children. I have never had more full conversations, more intense reflection and thoughts, and overall such an enlightened challenge.
With week one presenting itself the way it did, who knows what the rest of this experience will entail. But it is sure to be full!

 
                                                        Monday, May 20, 2013
                                                      Who runs the world? Girls.


So I have this theory.

And it could definitely be my feminism talking, but I’m pretty sure my inkling could be proven correct.

One thing I mentally prepared myself for before coming here were the harsh gender roles that much of Africa is still held by. Think of 1950’s (I’m bad with history, forgive me if that’s wrong), totally separate spheres for men and women, really harsh type of deal. That’s the present culture here, and I often have to bite my tongue in many situations. Women are definitely confined to the home, must obey their husbands (they can’t even eat if their husband isn’t home), have to kneel on the ground if being introduced to a man and sometimes just even talking to a man, have to ride side saddle on bikes, are made to wear skirts, and more.
Yet, with these strict roles, the only people who I have met here who really have their stuff together (minus a few rare exceptions) have been women.

The administrators who run successful businesses? Women. The people who run successful non-profit agencies? Women. The families that are proven successful despite their odds? Run by women.

I’m telling you, women seriously run this place yet are given half the respect and power that men are. Even though the men are the ones making all the terrible mistakes and causing problems (sorry men).

I am hopeful that over time, a very long period of time, that women will start gaining status and the lines will become less defined. People even say the women who are educated are the ones who wear jeans because they know they don’t have to abide by those gendered rules.

But, if this power difference was resolved even sooner, I really think the conditions of this country would improve drastically. The women here have to work so much harder to get to where they are, therefore (in my opinion) their work has proven to be ten times better.

If you let these women have more control and more power, this country would be in an entirely different state—for the better.

                                                    Friday, June 7, 2013
                                           The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

So this happened sooner than I thought! But I'm going to start in
reverse, as I think it's always good to end with the good.

The Ugly:

So, like I had mentioned before, we had some issues when Childline
when we first arrived in that there were no preparations for us and
the world we would be doing. We sorted things out, developed our own
work plans for two weeks, and were going to see everything through.

Unfortunately, the trouble did not end there. Things around the
administration began to get a little fishy, and we were introduced to
the Board about two and a half weeks in (we didn't know the Board even
existed). So we talked with them about all of our concerns, they said
they were aware of the problems, and things were going to get better
from here. But, the Director John, who we had been working with,
started to be around less and less and we started to have more and
more meetings. So, finally, last week we found out that the Director
had been embezzling money from the organization, had virtually taken
it all up to this point, and was being fired as well as going to be
criminally charge (although he disappeared, so that will only happen
if they find him). I am totally safe and there is no danger for me and
our team, but it was terrible to find out that the man we trusted, and
many others trusted, was misusing his office and not giving the aid he
promised to so many. Our placement agency and the new Board is working
on tracking all of these issues, but needless to say it is an absolute
mess and was something I never would have expected.

The Bad:

So upon the news, we were all initially very, very upset. We had come
to work with this organization to only find out our trust had been
betrayed. So, after a billion phone calls, emails, meetings and what
have you, we all decided to transfer to a new organization a few hours
away called SOVHEN. We did not feel as though we could be behind the
original agency because of the large mess that was created, and they
especially couldn't deal with us because they needed to completely
revamp themselves from the bottom up.

The sad part about leaving was that this terrible situation and this
one very unfortunate person had to create such a large barrier between
the amazing people and children we had begun to form relationships
with. We battled with not wanting to leave because of this, but it was
one of those decisions we just had to make. We are still talking with
our wonderful friends Denis, Joyce, and Emma, who were the beautiful
souls who took care of us through this process. We have already talked
to them on the phone a few times, and are planning to go back for a
weekend. They were supportive of the move, but it was nonetheless
extremely difficult and I hadn't realized how close we had all gotten
until we had to go.

And with leaving these relationships being hard, it was also very hard
to leave the children because there is no way the could understand the
situation. We all felt we were abandoning them, betraying them, and
every other sad break that they often face. We wrote some letters,
said as many goodbyes as we could, and I'm hoping maybe one day
someone will be able to explain it to them. One little girl in
particular, Joan (who calls herself Miss Uganda) had just introduced
us to her families a couple days before our final decision was made,
and I know how much that meant to her. Again, I'm hoping some sense
can come out of this, and I know I will see her and many others
again--it is meant to be.

The Good:

As I mentioned, we made our own program at an orphanage called Trio
the last two weeks. It was such an amazing time and I will always
remember the weeks we spent there. It took some time for the kids to
warm up to us, but by our final goodbye it was a heartbreak I didn't
expect. If only there were spots for us the rest of the summer, we
would have stayed, but I think we left before things got crazy and got
to have a great and very fun two weeks with those children. Who are
also absolutely adorable and will post pictures as soon as I get home.

Also, now that I am at SOVHEN, I am really excited for our next month
with them. In the mornings, I will be teaching English at a primary
school down the road--watch out Mom, this might make me actually want
to be a teacher!

Then, in the afternoon, I will be working at the secondary school and
will be teaching lessons on HIV/AIDS. Their secondary schools are
divided into houses (like Harry Potter) and I will be in charge of one
house. Furthermore, after all of the lessons, there is going to be a
huge competition between the houses around making skits, songs, poems,
etc. about everything we learn. I am super excited for this (I love
this kind of stuff) and I'm hoping everyone is ready for my house to
dominate ;)


Until then, I think things are starting to shape up and I know all of
this chaos happened for a reason. I have learned a lot, in many ways I
didn't expect, and I think I was fully challenged--which I find as a
great thing.


                                                          Friday, June 14, 2013
                                                          Week One; Take Two

Everything at SOVHEN has definitely been falling into place, and I am
so relieved that this decision was the right one! I think it was
something I definitely needed after the crazy first month, and it is
exciting to know that after such an eventful beginning, there are only
more events to come.

So this week we began teaching at the primary school and working with
our houses at the secondary school.

The first thing I've learned so far is that the English language is
brutal. We seriously have to have some of the craziest rules, many
that I didn't even know existed, and I can imagine why it is so hard
for a lot of these students to get a grasp of it--I'm even having to
re-teach myself some of the basic things. I definitely feel the pain
learning this language brings. But, aside from this struggle, I think
the students are doing pretty well. I have P5 (about 12 years old) two
days of the week and they are kind of the hardest group to work with
because they struggle the most, but that's what makes me love them
more. It can be a bit frustrating because half the time it feels like
they have no idea what I am saying, but we did review of our lessons
this week and I think they finally got it! We always joke about
teaching and dealing with P5 because sometimes it seems like a lost
cause, but I am rooting for them and I am very determined to catch
them all up by the time I'm done with them!

Starting at the secondary schools has also gone well! We haven't done
too much with our houses and the competition yet, but they just
started learning a song that they showed me today and I am super
excited about. I also have to give a HUGE shout out to PeaceJam for
giving me literally every skill I would need to work with a group of
teenagers who think they are too cool for anything. I'm glad I have
that experience on my back to know when to play games, when to get
serious, and how to really break these students out of their shell.

What I think has been really cool about this group, and really all of
the schools here, is how much the students look up to their peer
leaders. They have a prefect system, as well as various house leaders,
and it is amazing how much everyone listens to these students. It's
kind of awesome. I definitely have some kids in my group who are
always my go to people and basically my interpreters, and having their
enthusiasm is all that is needed to get the group involved. It makes
me very hopeful of the leadership potenital many of these students
have, and I think it's a system that needs to me much more in place in
America.

Other than that, things are really going well here! It is definitely
still an adjustment, but I think these last three weeks are going to
make it all worth while.

Lastly, some funny moments:

1) Went to my first Ugandan club. HILARIOUS. The carpet, I kid you
not, was literally from a bowling alley.
2) Played Red Rover at the primary school, and two kids were
completely close-lined. Jenn, this one if for you, because my
inability to stop laughing at inappropriate moments definitely kicked
in.
3) We went to what they called a "beach" and it was pretty much a nice
lake with only grass. No sand. Very cold. Definitely not a typical
beach.


And, a diva moment. Things you all should greatly appreciate:

1) Toilet seats
2) Anything cold (I am having ice cream the second I arrive back home)
3) Washing your hair
4) Not having cell phones you have to buy minutes for
5) And, having clean feet.


Until next time, sulabalunge (goodnight)!

                                              Wednesday, June 26, 2013
                                                   The Privilege of Love

Time seems to be flying as these last weeks approach, and although I
may go into detail of what exactly I have been up to, I first want to
try and express some perspectives I have gained--if I can find myself
able.

During this experience, amongst the drama and chaos that became what
seemed like a soap opera in Mityana, it has been difficult for me to
really reflect and even understand the culture I have been a part of
for several weeks. I felt as though I was coasting through troubled
waters without even taking the time to acknowledge the waves and only
focusing on that piece of land ahead of me.

One thing I think I have recently realized is how fortunate many of us
are to have the privilege to care and to love. We are able to dig deep
inside of ourselves and create vulnerabilities in our hearts that
embrace and allow for genuine passion and emotion to be given towards
another human being. I think many of us often believe that these types
of feelings are innate human qualities, but I find myself begging to
differ. I do believe that we are all capable of expressing and feeling
the deepest kind of love and care towards one another, but what if we
have to first focus on surviving? First focus on eating, getting an
education, making something of ourselves in an environment that tells
us we may not be able to escape? Are we then truly capable of taking
the time to open our hearts in the way of care and the way of love?

What has made me think of this is not that love isn't present in this
country or culture, but that love is not at the forefront of most
actions. Finding a means to survive and finding a means to be accepted
in some way seems to be the focus. In a way, the concept of love is
almost unknown in many circumstances. To us, to a society that has a
fascination with love, this almost seems like an impossible
exaggeration. But it makes me think of how lucky I have been to have a
family who taught me how to love in every part of my life. How blessed
I am to have made myself vulnerable to all the types of love there is,
knowing that there is a reason we should continually care for one
another no matter what. When you aren't brought up knowing the
importance of such a feeling, can you be blamed for not seeking it?

Secondly, the importance of positive reinforcement has been an ever
present thought through this experience. A lot of the culture thrives
on authoritarian practices, especially within the school system. From
what I have observed, instead of being taught how to learn, the
students are taught how to come up with the right answers in order for
their teachers not to punish or chastise them. There are a lot of
practices that make most of the students hesitant to answer or even
talk, as they have been socially humiliated or scolded for producing a
wrong answer in the past. Through my teaching, it has been really
important for me to try and express the importance of trying and
knowing that getting a wrong answer isn't a bad thing, but something
that shows you are putting effort into learning and making
improvements. If students are being taught by negative reinforcement,
it seems like the true power of education and the culture of learning
is lost.

Finally, I have learned the importance of accountability and taking
initiative. As many people have expressed here, a lot of things in
this country are grounded in great theory and strong ideas are
continually developed. Many things are lost in the transition from
theory to action. If there is no follow-up, if there is no initiative
taking place to make these theories a reality, where will improvements
come from? It is so important to have those markers in your life,
whether through other people or your own internal motivations, that
remind you of your passion and what you are meant to do. We can talk
about our dreams and aspirations for days on end, but if we aren't
going to do anything about them, can they really be considered
aspirations?

I feel many parts of me have become more grounded upon these
observations, and I am sure there are many other things that I am
still not yet aware of. I do wonder how all of this will impact my
actions upon my return, and I might be one step ahead of myself in
thinking to those results.

It has been a whirlwind of a month and I continually find myself
taking a step back and trying my best to remind myself to evaluate and
really understand this experience I am within.

But, to end on a less serious notes, here are some more "funny" Uganda
happenings:

1) Celine Dion is majority of people's favorite artist (many of the
trucks play the Titanic theme song)
2) African time seems to be contagious. Not sure if I mentioned it
before, but if something is planned for the day, you add a few hours
on to when it's actually going to happen. If it's planned for the
week, add on a few days. The team here seems to be major fans of this
African time, and I'm not hating it as much as I used to.
3) Another board member of Childline was arrested this weekend... wish
I was kidding. He was allegedly also working with the Director and
embezzling funds. I guess this one isn't so funny... but we have all
had to turn it into a joke to make it seem not as bad. Even though
it's kind of horrible.
4) No one in the village seems to be able to pronounce my name, so my
second name has now become Ashla. Or Ashwey. Or Assley. Take your
pick.
5) Everyone here loves to play cards, but they only know one game. And
it's called Cards. It's crazy because seriously everyone, in whatever
village, town, or what have you, knows this game. So the only way to
play cards is to play Cards.
6) Instead of saying "welcome back" whenever we get back from working,
everyone says "We'll be back." We've tried to help them out with this
one, but it doesn't seem to translate. Also, just impersonating each
others accents has been entertainment in and of itself.

That's all I have for now--can't believe I'll be back in the States in
two weeks.

Sulabalunge!

                                                   Thursday, July 11, 2013
                                                            Safe Journey

It started and ended with a take off.

In Uganda, a common phrase or farewell greeting is "Safe Journey." As I sat in the airport waiting to board one of the flights that would lead me home, I began to think about the journey I have been on. And the journey that everyone else around me was on and has been on.

At the end of the day, we're all on journeys that we hope will lead to some final destination. Whether that destination is literally making it somewhere like home, or that destination is one of fulfillment; a sense of accomplishment, a measure of success, or a filling of the heart. And as we all have these many unique, individual, and sometimes undefinable destinations, we take countless and different paths to get there. And along these paths, we simultaneously influence and impact the journey of the people in which we encounter.

So, what was the final destination of this trip? What was my path to get there, and what made this time a distinct moment in the larger journey of my life? Furthermore, who was I to impact or change the course of the many journeys of others that I found along the way?

I think for me, my final destination might be one that is still undefinable. But, there are a few things I did gather along the way.

1. I believe beauty can be found anywhere as long as you search for it.

There are a lot of skeptics and critics of Africa, more specifically around the aid given to Africa. But, I think what is lacking from the worldview of this continent is our collective inability to look for the good and beauty that is there. There is such a focus on the unspeakable and unfathomable conditions of its countries, which are absolutely present, but there are also beautiful people, landscapes, and countless opportunities that are waiting to be noticed and heard. Yet never spoken of or captured. Yet never cultivated or strengthened.

Whenever we were going somewhere, we were always packed likes sardines in our car, taxi, or boda boda (motorcycle). We were so bunched up that one could really only see one side of the road. You could only look through one window or turn one way because the circumstances blocked your view of exploring and searching elsewhere. Yet, whenever we did get those opportunities to see the full view, I could always find something new and exciting. Something beautiful and revealing. Something that came from the effort of a simple search.

If we took the time to truly search for those pieces of Africa and Uganda that can be put together to create something beautiful, and not just look out one window, I believe the country and continent would flourish. And it's not just people from the outside, but also it's residents. If there was more of an effort to appreciate and notice what can be done and what is already present to do, I could only hope there would be a positive change.

2. No matter how much we sometimes don't want to believe it, there is always an explanation.

I will admit, there were a lot of really crappy things that happened on this trip. Like I have mentioned many times, I met some of the most beautiful people, but I also met some of the ugliest. The director of Childline and basically all of the Board members of Childline did some very terrible things. Some agencies and leaders were misguided and abusing their positions.

But, I know for some reason, all of these bad things had to happen. Whether getting John (the director) fired meant other volunteers would not be scammed and the students would actually start getting their school fees, or it meant John himself would finally realize the misguided mission he was running under, we had to be the ones to discover it. We had to be the ones to experience and realize the ugliness that does often exist.

Furthermore, not that there is anything excusable about such actions, but I don't know the backgrounds, lives, and journeys of these people. I can only hope there was something in their past or present that had such a strong influence that made them act in a certain way. I'll never know, but I can always remind myself of the greater influence that always exists around us and in our environment.

3. We have an incredible ability to influence the lives of each and every person we encounter in everything we do.

This thought has always been one of my life-guiding mantras, but I was reminded of it on this trip nonetheless. As I was preparing to come to Uganda, everyone always said I was going to impact so many lives and make such a difference with what I was doing. And that's pretty much the basic theme underlying international volunteering.

But, do I think I changed the world and made a huge difference? No.

What I do think is that I was able to provide care, love, and an encouraging environment to a wonderful group of students. That I was able to teach in a school that literally had no teachers. That for two months, I at least was able to make someone who was completely different from me, someone who came from an opposite background and life, smile. Laugh. Even just get excited that they could say that they saw a muzungu (white person).

So when I believe that we have the ability to influence the lives and journeys of others, it is because every simple lesson, P.E. class, game, and simple moment does provide those little moments in life that we all need. And that is where we can provide sustainability. In guiding ourselves in a way that seeks to bring light to others in the little things we do. Every day.

You don't need to fully change something to say you did something good. But you can provide all that you have, even for a short amount of time, to provide that positivity for even just a moment. Because two months in the grand scheme of life is just one moment.
                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                           

Before I land, I hope to take these understandings with me wherever I go next.

I hope to take the memories of crazy Childline Board meetings, Luganda lessons with Joan, hilarious stories from Denis, the best meals with Emma and Joyce, speaking the only Luganda words we knew to make Chance and Phiona laugh, SOVHEN bonfires, P.E classes, my P5 little nuggets, the entire primary school, and so many other things with me.

I hope to hear about P7 passing their exams, Joan, Phiona, and Chance surviving and living a healthy life with HIV, hear that more teachers were hired at the primary school, how the Trio students still play our games, and hear that the maternity clinic is finally finished.
                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                              

It's hard to capture so many things that happened in such a short amount of time, but that always seems to be how life goes, isn't it?

It's a shock for me to actually be home, to travel for 24 hours and instantly be dropped back into my life. I am so amazed to have a life filled with so much love the moment I arrived, and I could not express more thanks.

As I move on to another moment, journey, and destination, I will carry Uganda with me. Through the good and the bad. The happy and sad. And everywhere in between.